Price: $1.39 for a five ounce can - $4.45 per pound of ham as of March 21, 2012
Hormel smoked ham comes in a short can dotted with images of juicy chunks of ham that look delicious. Surely Hormel wouldn't mislead us with its product images, would they? Well, let's open it up and find out.
Immediately upon puncturing the can with my can opener a strong smell of smoke wafted out that only grew stronger as I continued to open it. Upon removing the lid I was greeted with this:
Soylent green is people!
Great... Thanks a lot, Hormel. It looks like a hockey puck made out of soylent green. I had to pry a chunk of ham (I think) from an amalgam of meat and white, squishy substance. I tasted the overpowering smoke flavoring before the meat even touched my tongue. After placing the smoked ham on my tongue the overpowering taste of a massive amount of salt drowned out anything but the faintest hint of ham. The consistency was fairly firm yet yielding.
My cat was meowing loudly since he thinks that I am opening cat food every time I open a can so I decided to place the meat amalgam down for him. He... LOVED it! I had to take the bowl away from him because I didn't want to clean and smell whatever the ham would turn into after a trip through his gastrointestinal tract.
Cats are obligate carnivores
I wouldn't classify this as wretched but as just plain too salty and unappealing. It might actually add a good bit of smoke flavor to some split pea soup. However, I would only use it when I can't keep regular ham cool. Perhaps on a camping trip or the like.
Hormel lean smoked ham, you get 1 ½ congealed masses of soylent green out of 5. Canned meat should be good right out of the can.